Last week was one of the most exhausting, wild and stressful weeks I’ve had in a while. When I face these things, I get really drained, tired and go to bed earlier than normal. Or fall asleep I should say, because I just can’t keep my eyes open, even on the couch.

Friday night I was planning to go to bed a little early anyway because I had to wake up early Saturday to go to a 5k (walk), but I ended up falling asleep around 8pm (which is earlyyyyy).

I moved to my bed about 10pm and went right back to sleep thankfully. I kept waking up at like 2-3am though, probably because my body is like why are you going to sleep so early???

I started tossing and turning. The stress of the week creeping into my half-sleep state.

I started having this dream. I was somewhere with my mom in her truck. We were by houses but there was all this grass and not really a designated driveway to any of them? It was just open little space to do whatever with. Where were the property lines? Where were the fences?

We knew people around but I don’t know where we were or who other people were in the other houses.

We had seen a HUGE dog come racing out of one house to the house we were about to get out of the truck and go to. I told my mom, “I’m gonna wait til that dog goes back home. I don’t know where he went.”

But then there was another dog on my mom’s side of the truck that was by a different house. Not as big, but a big skinny dog still. A family came out of the house and the dog sniffed them and raced with them but then just went back to whatever it was doing. I said, “Well that one seems okay…”

As I started to exit the truck on the passenger side, I heard a commotion. Closer to my mom’s driver side of the truck was a SKUNK. “Mom!! A skunk!!” My mom is pretty quiet throughout this whole exchange and I need someone else to talk besides me. 😅 But no.

Then all these animals kept popping up out there. Another SPARKLY skunk was on top of a dog, just nudging it with its nose. Some other dogs showed up. And I must note that none of these dogs were scary. They all looked friendly even. They weren’t growling or barking, just there.

Suddenly I was on the back of the truck. Over the bed of my mom’s truck is a tarp/cover so that you can put stuff in the bed without it meeting any weather elements. Well, I was on top of that and the truck I was on began to sway forward and backward. I was trying to hang on. I didn’t want to fall or touch the ground.

WHAT IS GOING ON.

I was scared. I felt like I couldn’t go anywhere. I was blinded not by light or the animals, but just by fear.

Fear of what would happen. Fear of not making it where I needed to go.

I don’t want to live in fear, but that’s what I’ve been doing.

My week has been stressful because I fear failure and fear disappointment. I’ve felt both of those things and it’s wore me out trying to figure out what to do, how can I get through this?

I don’t normally remember my dreams when I wake up. I can remember very small pieces or just remember that was a weird dream, but rarely a full dream. Since I don’t have a Daniel to call to interpret a dream for me, I have to believe that God pressed this on me for a reason and gave me an understanding so that I can apply my dream to my current circumstances.

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My encouragement this week:

• Your fears are only as big and scary as you make them. Perspective matters.
• God gives peace in trying times.
• We can give grace to ourselves.
• 2 Timothy 1:7

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Songs:

• Sparrows by Cory Asbury
• Sunrise by Forrest Frank
• Come What May by We Are Messengers

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I hope the rest of your day and weekend are amazing and that you turn away from the fear that may be paralyzing you from doing what He calls you to.