All before college, I loved school. That was probably because I was “good at it” and I ended up getting to draw in class or play games because I finished all of my work early. I took concurrent enrollment courses as well as AP classes that led me to believe I was ready for college. My first semester at the University of Tulsa confirmed those sentiments, all As and Bs!
But once my second semester began, the struggling started in. I can’t remember the exact classes I took but I was disappointed that my efforts were not getting me the grades I wanted. Though I did receive an accounting scholarship for being an outstanding freshman that semester, it was the beginning of a downward spiral, filled with stress and worry.
Anything below a B was close to failure in my book, and that line was crossed so many times. Most of my college career was me being disappointed in myself and picking myself up off the floor from crying and telling myself and others that it was okay, I would do better next semester.
I survived academic probation. I went to meetings and helpful workshops that helped me gain extra skills to better my studying techniques and focus more on what mattered.
Halfway through college, I began to realize I need more of God in my life. I couldn’t handle all the stress and worry all on my own anymore. It sucked to feel so helpless, useless, like I couldn’t do anything right. With the guidance of new friends and a stronger relationship with Jesus, I still had my ups and downs but they weren’t as depressing and impactful to my life as before. I had done my best and no matter what happened afterward, I knew that I would always have what mattered to me in my life. God would bring me through it.
This semester, I began applying to graduate programs…. “began” is the key word because I never finished. I decided I’m overall done with school for a while for multiple reasons.
1) the cost 🤷♀️ like even having scholarships, I’m not up for deferring my current loans any more than I have to even if I received a graduate assistant position. If I happen to work for a company in the near future who will assist with theses costs, I would gladly further my education.
2) my GPA bothers me still and I know I’d probably have to retake some classes to be up to graduate level standards
3) I want to protect my health from more stress…
4) being a CPA would be the intent of an accounting masters degree and that’s just not something I’m currently interested in knowing that I can do many beneficial things with a bachelors degree
5) I’m ready for full-time employment! Though it is going to take some getting used to – not having classes and the routine of attending class almost every day – it’s going to be so nice to have a different routine.
6) no more school means more time for ME and to do the things I love doing outside of work! Like read and draw and work on this recently neglected blog 😂
I have a huge sense of relief with no more school. It’s bittersweet. I’m looking forward to what God has in store for my future, my next chapter in life❤