I’ve come to really realize in the past month, maybe two, that I don’t do things out of fear of failure. That if I can’t do something right or perfect, I tend to just not do it. Ugh, I hate admitting that, but it’s true.

Why it’s so hard for me to get words out, to get a novel fully onto a word document and get something published is this fear that it won’t be good enough, that it’s not even worth it if I can’t do it well the first time. I could go on and on about things I have not done or struggle with because of this same thing.

New experiences scare me, too. Obviously, there’s a lot of things I haven’t done so I’m nervous about a lot of new things when they come up. Some things that I have to do and can’t avoid, I push through, but if there’s an option or chance to back out, there’s a good chance I will back out if I didn’t make a firm commitment or people aren’t depending on me.

The most recent was at Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) and this week was my group’s week to help in the children’s program. It shouldn’t even be a big deal because I help with the kids at my own church on Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings. New environment and whatnot I guess hits me and I’m all nervous. In past years when those nights came up for whatever group I was in, I would either just not go downstairs and volunteer or not even show up to BSF at all. I would feel bad, but not that bad – other people did it, they were fine.

This year is different. I’m trying to step out and I feel like if I don’t act on convictions, then I’m not moving in the right direction.

This year I signed up in advance. I didn’t mean to, honestly, I just filled out a form, then was like “Oh.” Since I wasn’t going to back out of a commitment, I did it. I really didn’t want to. And not for any reason other than nerves and the unknown. The week prior to this week, when our study was on Revelation 3:7-22, our lecturer quoted a quote by someone I couldn’t remember, but she said, “Fear sees obstacles, faith sees opportunities.” She also talked about different scenarios specifically, like how things come up and we don’t see them the way God sees them. We see them as something to avoid or deal with, but never (or at least less often) as opportunities. To say I was convicted and shook…

But the “Fear sees obstacles, faith sees opportunities” quote hit me and I think about so often, at least once a day.

So I didn’t back out. I went. I volunteered. I survived. Once I got in there, even though I had never been there before in this BSF children’s class or even this church’s classroom area, it was like that was where I was supposed to be and I fit right in. I’m so, so glad I went. God knew what He was doing, for sure, when He put me in my group, had these lectures and readings, and when the Holy Spirit nudged me to take that step.

The other times I’ve stepped out and done something I didn’t think I was ready for or there was a possibility of failure (children’s program came with low risk since I wasn’t even doing the teaching or anything), it works out and I’m reminded of how my little brain can just get carried away with its imagination and negative thoughts.

I encourage you today that if you’ve felt called or placed somewhere that you don’t think you’re equipped or equipped enough, that’s when He will equip you and help you through it when you take the next step. As the saying goes: He doesn’t always call the equipped, often times He equips the called. So step out and into what He’s called you to today.

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Interesting that this is being posted by this holiday some people celebrate called Halloween.