Grueling Vibes & Joy

A lot has happened this past week. It’s gone by quick and while that could very well be a good thing in some cases, it’s not so great when you feel like you have an enormous amount of things to get done, but the time slips by much too expeditiously.

Things to get done is work related really, and that’s the cause of my tension as of late. It’ll be there tomorrow, doesn’t bring much comfort to me when I know there will not only be what today’s woes were, but also tomorrow’s as well.

Monday through Thursday seriously felt like it was one giant Monday. As I told a woman I talked to on the phone who sounded almost like she too was having the same type of experience, Wednesday was just a Monday #3. The same can be said for Thursday, aka, Monday #4.

Friday being a half day workday, it wasn’t as bad.

The work never ends and left unattended for a few hours during the day, it can get out of hand quick.

Contributing to our struggles is being shortly understaffed just enough to cause headaches. Speaking of which, I’ve actually had for the past week off and on.

When I want to read, work, relax, watch hockey, there the headache creeps in, unwanted and uninvited. Nothing cures the headache except maybe sleep, sometimes. Sleep used to be the cure all for my headaches. Now I just go to sleep with it and wake up with it.

Due to the location, near the front of my head, I’m pretty sure this is a tension headache brought on by stress.

Weighing down on me specifically as of late is my responsibility to make decisions at work relating to leading others and also to sift through resumes and make selections from interviews about who would best fit into our team.

While a few people have said I’m a good leader to those that report to me, I’m in my own head too much saying I could be better. Better because I’m not assertive and I don’t communicate verbally as well as I feel I would if communicating was only done in writing, though much of it is. In the grand scheme of things, I don’t exactly know how to become or just be better.

Part of my goal this year, like last year (but this time for real!), is to read more leadership material with the hope that it will boost my confidence in my role as a “people leader.”

When I lie awake either in the early morning hours when I don’t want to be awake but I’m also afraid I’ll oversleep (which also happened one day this week…), or at night when I can’t sleep, I know that I can “easily” give these troubles to God to work out. These aren’t big things and even they are, God is mighty and powerful and can handle it without blinking an eye, whereas I probably have to blink an eye to think about it alone. The easy part is knowing what to do, but it’s much harder to get there and to fully let go and feel the full release.

All that to say… this past week has been grueling.

Now to turn this blog post around, I’m ending on the good things that occurred this week.

On Monday #2, Tuesday, I received a very welcome gift from my friend, Bridget! It was just the kind of mail I needed. It was a cold, rainy day and we were anticipating snow that ended up missing my area completely, which is now considered the donut hole of that whole storm system that blew over. The mail ran around noontime and I jumped up and grabbed the box containing books I marked as Want To Read on GoodReads. Bridget, being one of the kindest people I know, gifted me the books she happened to have. Made. My. Day. Thank you again, Bridget!

Wednesday evening I finally sat down on the couch and ordered my Apple Watch. I’ve been wanting a new watch for some time and I told myself if I get a new watch, I’m getting the Apple Watch. I’ve had the FitBit Versa since 2019 and it’s been a great watch most of the time, except when it dies unexpectedly or won’t sync with my phone. I’m sure that comes with age. Don’t we all feel like we’re dying or won’t sync with others from time to time??? Anyway, I was going to get it for Christmas but then decided not to. My grandma was going to pay for it if I could order it and I kept putting it off. Now that it’s near birthday season for me, I said fine. I’ll do it. Monday #3 was that day. I was very excited and shoutout to my friend Sheila and her son Kyle for helping me learn what to get and why, because I’m clueless. 😃 Expected delivery at time of ordering was February 1st, which wasn’t too bad. On Friday, the box with my Apple Watch arrived!! No way. I opened it up right away and pulled everything out. The only disappointment was that there was no adapter included. If that information had been in large print when ordering, it would have been even more wonderful. I did not set up my watch that same day because my phone and the watch are my only apple products. Saturday came and I was able to buy an adapter and get my Apple Watch synced up and able to use! Once that was done, I bought some watch bands on Amazon that look like scrunchies. I’m excited to get those in the next week.

On last Sunday, while waiting for the hockey game to start, sitting alone, unattended, I went over to the Amazon app on my phone, searched for Rachael Bloome and noticed, most joyfully, that her newest book was finally available to purchase as a paperback! *click* And suddenly the book was ordered, along with another one I’ll read soon. Those books were scheduled to arrive Friday. Thursday the books were a state away and I was praying they’d be delivered on time by the regular mail service because I had big plans to devour Rachael Bloome’s newest work that same day. Much to my delight, the books arrived and I was anxious to finish up some work so I could dedicate my evening to this beautiful book she graced us with. You will see that in just a few days in my January reads blog post!

Friday morning, after I logged off of work the first time at my normal time, I went to Mardel with my mom. I didn’t need to go and in all honesty, probably should have stayed away, but when someone asks and doesn’t hold the same convictions as I do about my spending habits when it comes to books, what’s a girl to do? Well, you already know how this ended. Yes, of course, I bought two more books. Did I need them? Of course not. Will I have regrets? That’s debatable, but once I get these books read, the answer will be a whopping “no.” I bought Husband Auditions by Angela Ruth Strong which caught me eye because of the cover and then the whole story from the back cover caught my hopeless romantic attention. I have since started this one and already find it entertaining. I also bought Hearts of Steel by Elizabeth Camden, the third book in her Blackstone Legacy series. I’m not as excited about this book in the series as I was the others, not sure why. Might be because the Blackstone sibling is the brother and I think he’s okay, but I haven’t gotten to know him as well in the other novels. That’s probably why I should read this one, though, to get to know him. I read some reviews that that’s what people enjoyed in this one. Either way, my trip to Mardel brought another dose of much needed joy.

In hockey news, my world has been turned upside down and shaken. We’ve had a lot of trades and guys just straight up leaving the team to go play in Europe. But, Friday night we had a great game in Allen. Up until the last minute of the game. I’m not going to talk about the awful loss, but I will say that the new guy, Tag Bertuzzi, got a hat trick and was an absolute fire out there on the ice (that I could hear anyway). I think we may have a chance to redeem ourselves. Maybe. Saturday night was not good either so maybe today’s game will be better at home.

Most of my joy was book related this week, you may have noticed, which is really no surprise, is it?

Here’s to only greater joys to come.

Until next time….


4 Comments Add yours

  1. I am sorry things have been hectic. I definitely understand. This past week did feel like a long week. As you said – all Mondays. And work struggles are some of the most stressful because we want to do a good job, but often it feels like we can’t control everything that comes our way. I will be praying for you. By the way, you probably know this, but John MacArthur has good books on leadership and he is a Christian. Also, about you being hard on yourself – I understand that too. We do have to learn to give ourselves grace. Yet I also think you are in good spot because this shows you care and you truly want to be a good leader. I am so glad that the books brought you some joy!! 🥳 I am so jealous that you have the Rachael Bloome book because the ebook won’t be delivered until Tuesday! 😭 I have the Elizabeth Camden book on my iPad. But I still haven’t read #2 in the series yet! 😱 Congrats on the Apple Watch! But that is totally lame that they didn’t send a charger with it! 🤦🏼‍♀️ I hope things go well for your hockey team. I know how rough that is when your team loses a lot of good ones. Hopefully you will still have a good season!

    1. Summer says:

      They really are one of the worst struggles! Better days are ahead. Thank you for praying. 🙏🏻
      I’ll need to look into more books by him. I don’t know if I have any in my stock. I have some by John C Maxwell I know. Have heard great things by John MacArthur!
      I want others to have all they need to succeed, to feel empowered to do their jobs and to enjoy what they do like I do. I hope some day I was a good leader to those I serve. 🙏🏻
      I loved book #2 by Elizabeth Camden! You should read it soon. Dimitri was an amazing character, but I may have just been a fan girl lol
      I wasn’t familiar with Apple products and the charging cord included through me off because it wasn’t the universal ending or the USB-A ending so I was like ???? Lol but at least I got a cool adapter at Target.
      Hope the team finishes strong!! 👏🏻👏🏻 Thank you!

      1. You know what, I think I meant John Maxwell. 😜 One important thing to remember is to be yourself. And I know you are, because you are genuine. But I also know it is extra stressful when you have to worry about others, on top of yourself. Just keep praying and focusing on God and He will guide you. I will be standing beside you in prayer! 🙏

        1. Summer says:

          I know John MacArthur has some good Bible commentary, he may have some leadership books lol
          Thank you! 🙏🏻🤗

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