This past week or so has been a roller coaster of emotions, again, for a few reasons. The main one I’ll discuss here is about a house I fell in love with.

As you may recall, I mentioned I’m going to buy a house this year. I’m still going to buy a house, it just may not be this year (I know it won’t).

I had looked at houses that were on the high end of my budget and went back and forth ~ is it worth it? Do I need a house that bad? These houses weren’t even fully what I was looking for. I don’t want to compromise on a house when I don’t actually need to move. I live with my grandma and she’s not kicking me out. This is just a new chapter I’m trying to jump into.

I found the one. No, it didn’t have the library I’m looking for, but what house will? I’m very specific. But, it had everything else on my list and wasn’t as expensive as the others. I can do this, I thought.

After discussion with my realtor, I put an offer in that night that I toured. The following morning they accepted. The day after that, my loan officer sent me numbers on what I could expect the payment to be based on different scenarios and rates.

Tears immediately formed. It was so much more than I had anticipated and given what I had said I was looking for my payment to be.

That was a Friday. I said I’d be thinking about it all, and I did. I dreamed about it and couldn’t sleep. I kept running over the numbers trying to make it work and it just didn’t make sense. This was supposed to be the house.

Sunday, I couldn’t take one more sleepless night filled with worry and I knew deep down that I needed to rescind my offer soon so it wouldn’t be a big deal. It had only been a few days and no inspection had been done yet, although scheduled.

I prayed about it. I asked God to just give me peace about whatever happens on Monday. I didn’t have the peace I thought I had about the house. The payment was a curveball I didn’t expect.

I was able to sleep right after that prayer. No trouble. No dreaming. I woke up with peace instead of tears. Further up in the morning I asked my realtor to call me when she had a chance because she was actually at camp with her church.

She called a few, short minutes later and it was so hard to back out because she, too, knew that I loved the house.

Even with tears and the difficult moments, I had peace about the whole decision and I know that that’s only because God can give that to us. His peace.

Even when the house is pending a day later.

Especially when I remember I won’t have a mortgage at all, yet.

He has something even better in store for me if I just wait (keep saving 🤪) and let Him provide the peace I need about where He has me right now.

If you’re struggling with a decision, sometimes just simply asking for peace is a game changer. It has been for me.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭6‬ ‭NIV‬‬